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see that’s the thing about heartbreak. it doesn’t hit you instantly. it takes its time. first you feel a little hurt, a little broken, a little lost. but you think you’ll be okay.
then you hear a song that reminds you of him. maybe it’s a song that you heard one day and the first person that came to mind was him. maybe it was a song you sang along to in the car with his hand on the wheel and your head on his lap. or maybe it was a song about losing him. but it’s a song that makes you cry until the end; while still trying to sing along to it, still trying to remember his voice.
after that, you’ll see a picture of you two. it may be one that someone else took and you guys are both smiling. he’s looking at you like maybe he loves you, and you’re laughing because of something he said. or maybe it’s a picture you took of him without him knowing it; one where he’s caught completely off guard but he’s still absolutely beautiful. or it may be a picture that he took of the both of you, one where right before the picture, you told him to give you a few seconds to make yourself look nice and he rolled his eyes. but it’s a picture that makes you stare at it until the tears in your eyes blind your vision.
you’ll be in the car and you’ll pass by one of the spots you guys went to. it might be something small, like where you went to get coffee that day after work or where he bought hot dogs and ate them in the car. it might be the place you guys walked around for hours, talking about anything and everything. it might even be a street you had to pass to get to your destination; because with him, it was never about the destination and always about the journey. but you’ll be driving by or riding in the car with someone else and a single tear is all you’ll let fall.
you might go through your closet, hoping to find a shirt or a sweater that he left; trying to grasp something physical. you’ll remember how you told him you were going to steal his hoodie, and how he tried to hide it from you because it was his favorite.
you’ll be sitting somewhere and a small breeze will bring what will appear to be his scent towards you. you know it instantly, and you’ll find yourself turning every which way to see if he’s around.
he is everywhere. every turn you make, you’ll find yourself thinking of him.
and that’s the worst part of heartbreak; because even though the person is gone, the memories still remain.
